TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF USE: THE SANDWICH
By biting into this sandwich, the Consumer ("You") accepts the following terms, whether or not You have read them, which You have not.
1. The Sandwich is provided "as is". The Company does not guarantee that the tomato will remain inside the Sandwich. The tomato has its own plans.
2. The Company is not responsible for any emotional attachment that may develop between You and the Sandwich. If it does, the Company recommends not telling anyone.
3. "Fresh" means fresh at the moment the Sandwich left the Company. The Company makes no claim about the time between that moment and Your hunger.
4. Crumbs produced during consumption shall remain the property of Your shirt.
5. You agree not to compare this Sandwich to another sandwich eaten at an earlier time, in a different city, in better weather and with better company.
6. In the event of a dispute, the matter will be resolved by the Company's Committee for Sandwiches. The Committee consists of one person, who is currently on lunch.
7. These Terms may be changed at any time. Your continued consumption indicates agreement. Your leaving half of the Sandwich indicates disappointment, which is also legally noted.
Thank You for choosing a Sandwich.
Fiction note: All people, places and events in this text are fictional.