Thank you. Thank you very much. I am genuinely moved, although not so moved that anyone should worry.
I did not prepare a speech. I am told that this is part of the criteria, and for once I have followed the rules perfectly.
The Golden Average is awarded to a person whose work is consistently neither outstanding nor disastrous. It is a difficult standard. Anyone can fail, and, with luck, anyone can succeed. But to remain for thirty years in the exact middle of one's field requires discipline, balance and a profound fear of risk.
I should thank my teachers, who gave me a B in everything and never regretted it. I should thank my colleagues, who said "good effort" when I produced something that was not quite bad. And I should thank my late father, who once described my career as "fine", a word he used with great precision.
People ask me whether I have ever been tempted by excellence. Yes, of course, around 2009. It was a project that went well. I sat down with a cup of tea and examined the feeling. It was very uncomfortable. I returned to my usual standard within a week.
Some say that mediocrity is the enemy of progress. I prefer to think of it as its audience. Somebody has to read the reports, attend the meetings and clap, at the right moment, for those who are brilliant. That is not a small thing. It is, in fact, a medium thing, and I am proud of it. Thank you, and good night. I believe that is the correct length.
Fiction note: All people, places and events in this text are fictional.